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Luciano: How
can I know the Self?
SWAMIJI: If you know the meaning of what
the Self is, then you will automatically know how to go there. If you know
where Rome is, you will know how to go, also; but if you don't know where it
is, it is difficult to go there. So, where is this Self sitting? If you are
sure as to where It is, then you will also know how to go. Now, tell me where
It is.
Luciano: The
saints and sages say that the Self is everywhere.
SWAMIJI: OK. How can a person go to a thing
which is everywhere? Suppose a thing is everywhere; then, where are you
sitting? If It is everywhere, It is under you, also. Then, where are you sitting?
Luciano: On
the Self.
SWAMIJI: Then why are you crying? You have
already attained It. You are sitting on It and asking me how to attain It.
Luciano: But
I don't see It.
SWAMIJI: You are not seeing It because It
is everywhere. If It is only in some place, then you will see It. That is the
whole problem. How can you see a thing which is everywhere, unless you also
become everywhere? If you also become everywhere, then you will see that which
is everywhere. You are only in one place, and the Self is everywhere, so there
is a contradiction between your existence and Self's existence.
This contradiction has to be removed.
Either It should be in one place, or you should be everywhere. The Self cannot
become something in one place, so you have to become everywhere. Then you will
"see" It. People who think alike will become friends. If you think in one way
and That thinks in another way, how will you contact It? So you must think as
the Self thinks, and what does the Self think? It thinks, "I am all things."
Can you think like that? The essential point is here.
You are thinking that you are Luciano from
Italy. This is the only idea that you have got, but this kind of thing cannot
take you to the Self. As long as you are Luciano, and you are from Italy, then
nothing will work.
But you are not Luciano, and you are not
coming from Italy. You have not come from anywhere; you are just where you are,
and you are not Luciano. You can be any other name, also. Somebody called you
Luciano, and now you are saying that you are Luciano. Somebody can call you
Joseph, and you will say that you are Joseph.
Luciano: So
then I have all the names.
SWAMIJI: Then you have no
name! So, don't say that you are Luciano. When you start going near the Self,
all kinds of trouble will arise. A big storm of troubles will come up from
all sides; as the Self is everywhere, the trouble also will come from all sides.
If you are prepared for It and don't mind the difficulties that come, and you
are bent upon It, you will get It. But if you are only experimenting with It
and seeing whether you can get It or not, then It understands your mind, so
It won't come. This is a very serious matter. You will get It, no problem.
But you have to pay a high price - many liras! But the Self cannot encash lira,
and all that!
For travelling, for your passport and bank
account, you may call yourself Luciano, but when you are sitting alone, forget
this idea. You sit alone and look at yourself and tell yourself that you have
all names so you have no name. But have you a form? You have two things, name
and form.
Luciano: In
the book you suggest to place the consciousness outside, between the object and
the subject.
SWAMIJI: When you concentrate on any
object, your consciousness is transferred to that object, and then the
consciousness of you body becomes less. You are thinking too much of this body;
therefore, the objects are cut off. But one of the techniques of meditation is
to concentrate the consciousness on another thing. It may be anything. Then
immediately the attachment to this body gets loosened. That is one method which
is prescribed by Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras.
That thing which you are concentrating upon
can be any object. It can be a little material thing, or it can be God Himself,
or all the five elements, or the sun, the moon, the stars, space, time - to
anything you can transfer your consciousness. Then, the attachment to this body
gets loosened and becomes less and less. Slowly you will find that your mind
spreads into a Universal state. This is one method of meditation. Here, the
consciousness exists between you and what is outside you! Wonder indeed!
Luciano:
When I try to concentrate on one thing, often the mind goes like a monkey.
SWAMIJI: It doesn't matter; let it go.
Again you sit and start. Even if it goes again and again, it will come also
again and again, by practice. Every day you eat food and every day you feel
hungry also. Like that, it is the same thing. The mind goes again and again,
but again you sit. Keep doing it, and you will see that it comes under control.
Then one day you will find that you will be able to think only in that way. You
will then not think in any other way. It is a question of repeated practice.
Luciano: At
the end of the third discourse, you mention that all will be clarified if
people can answer the question of where the Self is. But the Atman is
everywhere, so how can I discover It?
SWAMIJI: Why should you discover It, if It
is everywhere? That would mean that It is not everywhere. You are saying two
things. You have to discover a thing which is not near you. If It is
everywhere, how will you discover It, and also, who will discover It? Luciano
is not there, because Luciano has gone into that which is everywhere; so who is
discovering It? This is a very subtle point. If It is everywhere, where is
Luciano at that time?
Luciano: He
is nowhere.
SWAMIJI: Then what problem have you? If
Luciano is not there, what else is there?
Luciano:
Luciano has no problem because he is not there.
SWAMIJI: Then why are you putting questions
unnecessarily? You have to sit with a guru, and there is no use of only
reading a book. You see, what I told you in two sentences is more important
than the whole book. If Luciano is not there, the problem also is not there.
Then who is putting a question?
Luciano:
Nobody.
SWAMIJI: So you are happy!
Luciano:
Yes!
SWAMIJI: With great difficulty you are
happy! This point which has entered your mind just now, which has suddenly made
you say reluctantly that you are happy, should be the object of your
meditation. Day and night you must think this point: If the Atman is
everywhere, nothing else is. The whole thing is that Atman, the pervading light
everywhere, the dazzling light of the Atman which is the Universal Being, which
is the Atman of everybody; there is only one Atman.
Go on telling this to the mind again and
again so that the idea of Luciano and people, things and buildings and
everything goes in one second. Go on thinking It again and again, and tell it
also to the mind one thousand times. Don't think anything else for three hours
every day and you'll see that something will happen afterwards.
Luciano: The
problem is to expand my consciousness, because I think one of the problems is
the separation between us and the Atman.
SWAMIJI: The separation arises because you
are thinking that you are outside that Atman, but you have already said that
you cannot be outside It. Your reason says that you cannot be outside It, so
the feeling that you are outside It must be raised and merged into your reason.
You cannot have two things, feeling something, and the reason saying another
thing. They must come together.
That act of uniting the reason with the
feeling is meditation. Go on driving that thought of reason into the feeling.
Keep telling the feeling that you have accepted this point, that This is the
only thing that you want, that This will give you whatever you want, and that
you want nothing else. Tell the mind again and again, like a mantra. Do
this meditation for three hours - in the morning, afternoon and night.
Don't create doubts in the mind. Write in
your diary that you have no doubts. You have to go on telling the same thing
again and again, because, otherwise, doubt will come and say, "No, you are not
all right." When Buddha, the great Yogi, was meditating, some demons came to
him and told him that he was a foolish man. Even Christ was told by somebody
that he was wasting his time.
The reason should merge with the feeling.
These should not be two different things. The feeling is very turbulent and
troublesome. It will go on telling some wrong thing only. Though the reason
says the right thing, the feeling will tell the wrong thing.
Luciano:
Sometimes also the reason gives a wrong answer.
SWAMIJI: The reason needs to be purified by
instruction from a guru. Everybody has a reason, but that is ordinary,
lower reason. We are now speaking of the higher reason, which accepts the
universality of the Absolute and thinks nothing else. That has to be driven
deeply into the feeling, all which is the process called meditation. If you can
do it continuously and think nothing else in the mind at all times, then within
a short time you will experience some great change in your life. You must wait
for that day.
Luciano: So
my first object of meditation must be that I am the only one, and that I have
no doubts.
SWAMIJI: Yes. You write in your diary that
you have no doubts. Every day see it, in big letters: "I have no doubts." If
anybody tells you from inside that you have doubts, you say no. This will
take you a long time; it is not an easy job. You must find time for it, and it
will be all right in due course. If you persist in It, It will come to you.
The secret of success is that you can get
anything you want, provided you want only that thing. But if you want two
things, then you will get neither this nor that. Is there anything that you
want entirely? It is difficult to find something like that, where only "that"
is wanted. Nobody can live like that, with only one thing. There is also
another thing, second thing, third thing, etc. So many things we want! But
there is one thing, by getting which, you will get other things, also. All the
waters of the world you will find in one thing, which is the ocean; so, find
out that ocean.
Luciano: It
is difficult for me to understand your image about drops in the ocean, and the
separation between the drops, and the ocean made from infinite drops.
SWAMIJI: The ocean itself is one big drop,
but it is also made of small drops; many little drops put together become an
ocean. But actually, in the ocean, the drops don't exist; they are one integral
whole. So, you may say there are no drops in the ocean, yet you can say it is
made up of drops. Both notions are correct. Actually, the drops in the ocean
are only conceptual. The mind says that there are many parts. Ideas move the
world.
Luciano: So,
also, in the world, I am separated from others.
SWAMIJI: It is like that. You have got a
conceptual feeling of difference of one from another. Really, they are
connected together into a vast ocean of infinite force. The people who are
sitting here look like isolated people, even as conceptually you can imagine
many drops in the ocean.
You have many cells in the body, but yet
you are one man. The billions of cells make one Luciano. So, even if it looks
like many, it is still one only. When there are many branches in a tree, the
tree will not think that it is many trees. It is one tree only, though the
branches are many.
The process is to become aware that there
is one consciousness pervading everything, and it itself appears as all the
objects. One tree appears as many branches, but is integrated by one
tree-consciousness. Similarly, you will feel the ocean of force as identical
with you. All these things that you see outside you are part of that
conceptually differentiated, but really united being.
Luciano:
Yes, but different people have different manners.
SWAMIJI: Even if there are many varieties
of branches (one is straight, one is bent, one is up or down), it makes no
difference to the tree. There are people with defective limbs, yet they think
that they are a complete whole. The consciousness is not of defect. The body
may have some defects, but the consciousness feels that it is perfectly all
right. Varieties of limbs do not make varieties in consciousness. Consciousness
is one only.
Luciano: So
what appears as the forms is only a question of appearance, and not substance.
SWAMIJI: Yes. There are big waves in the
ocean, and small waves, yet it is still one single ocean. This requires deep
thinking every day. A long time you must take for this meditation, and do study
also, if you require it as a help.
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